Learn to Fly... On the Way Down...

Today was a day that I was reminded of what a Long journey this Life has been. I was brought back to a time where I was so naked, so raw, so stripped down, to a point where I had nothing left. I was pleading With God, “NO More," l knew I was strong but even the strongest have that breaking point and I was there. 

Looking back I realize how absolutely resilient we are as human beings. How strong I actually am. I see that incredible power to overcome from within. It comes from me doing my part and then succumbing to something greater than I am to do the rest. It gave me the power to see the light in the darkest of nights.

Although now, those times are not nearly as frequent it still does shake me when it happens and I just need to be reminded of where I have come…

I heard this song today for the first time. And the lyrics hit my point right on; yep, you want to know how I learned to fly? It was on the way down… :)

“So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake

Just keep on reaching though the limb might break

We’ve come this far, don’t you be scared now

'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down” –Maddie & Tae

30 Years!- Life Lessons

30 years of LIFE! As I celebrate a (to me) HUGE milestone in my life I can’t help but want to share how absolutely grateful I am for my life. I can appreciate where I came from, to who I am today, see beauty in the smallest of things, and realize that everything around us is a blessing for us to appreciate. I know that I have a very long way to go, but wanted to share some of the most important lessons that I have learned so far on my journey.

1. An investment in you is ALWAYS worth it.

Whether it be making the choice to live a healthier life, kick addition, gain the skill sets(even if it means putting in more hours) for a better paying job, seeking out cogitative therapy to address personal issues, making more time to feed YOUR soul. It’s worth it a million times over.

2. Reflect what you desire…

You know that saying, “Be the change you wish to see in the world- Gandhi”… yeah it’s true, don’t say you want something unless you are willing to first go out and be/do/get it yourself. When that truly does happen, it’s amazing how everything just falls right into place.

3. See the beauty in others, even if they don’t see it in themselves.

Find the most unique admirable qualities in others that you want to emulate and take something from these individuals to apply towards making yourself a better person. Show them that while they were admiring you, it was actually they that inspired you, thus within them all along.

4. Every person that crosses your path/enters into your life can teach you something.

Learning is ALL around us, take  that extra second to soak it in, and acknowledge it you’d be amazed at what you can learn.

5. Keeping your mind, heart & soul open to where God / the Universe is guiding you, will ALWAYS steer you in the right direction.

The Trouble with this day and age is there’s so much noise! With our careers, lives, families, social media, pressures, there is little time left to actually LISTEN. Listen to where we are being led, amazingly if we actually open ourselves up to this, there is that little lighthouse of Faith, that always guides us in the right direction, we just have to allow the fog to clear from our eyes.

6. Fall in LOVE with a person’s soul.

Ahhh how I have wasted so much of my life on unhealthy relationships of several types (friendship, romantic, business) because all I heard/saw was what was on the outside, I didn’t actually allow myself to feel what was truly underneath. Such a powerful awareness it is, to have; to be able to see through a person eyes to the depths of their soul. Truly loving those individuals for what’s within is incredible. It also allows us to keep ourselves from getting hurt, we can rather see something for what it is and choose to love where they are at, and move on, or cherish them by Loving who they ARE and never letting go.

7. Whatever’s good for your soul, do that…

For me my family feeds my soul, I cherish time with those I truly love and it re-charges me.

8. Life is beautiful.

Just as the rainbow appears after the storm, the first flower blooms after the harshest of winters, and as the caterpillar emerges as the butterfly; I have learned to appreciate the beauty that life has to offer. Our time is here is merely a stepping stone, a training ground, for what’s to come in the next life, how will we chose to live it? I chose to make the most of it, and with God’s blessing I hope to do so, for many years to come.

Steps Towards Success

So many people get stuck along the way towards  reaching their goals with the best of intentions in mind.

They allow themselves to remain stuck only on the step they take and never allow themselves to acheive their fullest potential by getting to the top.

Don't get stuck while taking the steps towards success.Let them be just that-a step towards achieving your goals. 

When you reach the top it's always worth it.

Sometimes I allow Myself to go there...

Sometimes I allow Myself to go there...

To feel the past memories of heart break. To feel the pain of  having my heart crushed.  

Sometimes I just take it all in...

I do it to remember how I never want to feel again. I do it to be grateful. I do it to spark wisdom, but most of all I do it to inspire myself.

 Knowing that I can rise up and still live each day as if I had never seen the depths of that heartache. To know that I can love again with Faith in what will be. To move on and to most of all be ever so grateful.

I am grateful for each triumph, each warm feeling, each day of life after.

So yes, sometimes I allow myself to go there, but never do I stay...

Letter of Gratitude for my Daughter

This is the 8th year celebrating when my daughter entered this world, I am so overwhelmed with absolute gratitude and wonderment at the amazing individual that she is becoming; This is my expressed gratitude to our amazing God and to her for changing my life…

Letter (to our creator) of Gratitude for my Daughter;

Thank you for my angel on earth, my living reminder of your AMAZING GRACE. I could never deny you because you have shown me so many things through this vessel that is my daughter. I know she is YOUR CHILD and you have entrusted me with her care and rearing to raise her into the amazing individual that you intend for her to be. She is joy, my heart’s song, my love. Every day of my life I am eternally grateful.Never in my life did I imagine that this little entity could change my life in the most phenomenal way.

Eternally grateful, 
Sandra

To my Amazing little girl:

Prior to your existence my heart was cold… No, just asleep. Something however, was awakened within me when you came into this world and to this day I am still in awe at how someone so little can create such a tremendous change within my heart. 

It is like the valley that once had tenderness and showed love, had, through life become frozen… Living out the actions day by day, but not appreciating the wonder, learning and blessings that came with every step. Your presence in my life began to thaw that desolate frozen valley, revealing the life that was once there. Not only did you reveal it, but you transformed the warmth into a burning fire full of love and compassion. No longer was I full of selfish intentions or superficial desires of the world, but of constantly being aware of what I could do to ensure the actions that I took would bring back goodness and blessings to you.

It was difficult at first, as we were hit with some struggles that made my job as a parent a lot more trying, difficult and daunting. However, there was one thing in my life that somehow gave me the motivation to push on and that was you. Mommy achieved things in her life that I never even dreamed I was capable of until YOU. You lit a fire in my soul that is only equivalent to Gods love. That is how I know how absolutely PHENOMENAL you are. Several people go their whole lives with many children of their own and still never do this, but yet YOU do it every day for me. YOU hold me accountable as a human being, as a person in this world. To love others as I would have them love me- as I would have them love YOU.

You are surrounded by LOVE because you ARE love to those that have the blessing of knowing you. You represent to your family and friends all that is good and kind in this world. We do not have the picture perfect family that you see in movies or in story books. But knowing you, one would never know that. You are the light through all adversity. I am proud of the individual that I am blessed to see you blossoming into. You possess so many beautiful gifts at your young age: compassion, love, triumph over adversity, humor, optimism, joy. You have experienced not having your father in your life, watching your mommy be very sick and taking care of her and being so patient with me throughout, you watched as we said goodbye to grandma and grandpa; and although seeing them in the state they were in before they were called home to God, may have been frightening for some children, you loved them with tenderness and understanding. You rejoiced when they left this world knowing that in heaven they have no limitations. You understand our purpose here in life and desire to be good and follow God. You possess a desire to flourish, a desire to LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE; you are the embodiment of AMAZING GRACE.

I am so proud of you! I know this is just of glimpse of the greatness you will achieve in your life. With our Lord, your father that will never leave you, ever, leading you always.

I look forward to our journey together, knowing someday I will see you spread your wings and fly. Every ounce of sweat, blood, and tears that has gone into each of these years has been absolutely worth it FOR YOU. I am eternally grateful for the transformation that has happened within my heart because of you. I hope someday you will truly appreciate the magnitude of what you have done for your mommy. Having you in my life has shown me that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Someday you will move mountains my angel because you are that REMARKABLE. Never forget that.

Mi Amor, mi vida, mi mundo. Para Siempre.
My life. My love. My world. Forever.  

With all that I am,

Mommy

"She Wasn't Born That Way.."

Please watch this video prior to continuing on-

From a man’s perspective: “Get right or you’re gonna get left.”

“In the back of our mind we say were looking for a good woman, were looking for a wife, but we treat her like a bad woman… Guilty until proven innocent. How can you build when everything your doing is to tear her down? You need to find your real. There is alot of good women out here but we turn them into bad women because of what we bring to the table... -She wasn't born that way. It comes back to us as the man... I guarantee you, if you give a woman a good dad, a good boyfriend, a good husband, her life story changes...” 
-Tony Gaskins

As I clicked on his video and began listening to him share his experience, I was not aware at the time that it was going to provide an  “ah ha” moment for me.  It was an acknowledgment of the fact that it does start with “You”(by ‘you’ I mean change starts from within).

The line that really resonated with me and caused an actual physical reaction- as if I’d been punched in the stomach-it had moved me to tears,was this: “-She wasn't born that way. It comes back to us as the man... I guarantee you, if you give a woman a good dad, a good boyfriend, a good husband, her life story changes...”  It was in this moment that I realized the pain, self-inflicted exposure to unhealthy relationships, and turmoil started long before I ever had my first boyfriend... It started in the home. His line is true “it starts with you”. 
My life story would be a completely different one had my father been the person he is now.

As men, fathers, spouses do you think of the possibly that the earliest childhood memories for your daughter might be images etched in her my mind, accompanied by brash shouting that generated fear, insecurity and sadness from a small child?  For that little girl the alcohol induced, enraged entity, might be what puts a stamp on how she would become as young woman. Not knowing at the time that due to your  “relationship retardation” she will be scarred for life.

Most do not know any better, they are merely repeating a cycle that had been passed on from a previous generation of abuse and an unhealthy foundation.

Do you know that as an adult that little scared girl remains within? Do you know that that little girl will someday become "that woman?"

As women we all want to love you, we are all that bright eyed little girl with hope, love, and adornment in her eyes for the man in her life whether he is there or not, you are our “daddy”, the first man we will ever love…

And as we grow into women we still want to love you(the man) and shower you with all our love it is simply in our nature.

However, it is the experiences that we were/are exposed to, that sometimes scar and damaged us for life. Some though, are more forgiving and believe in that hope; that one day we can heal those wounds that were inflicted upon us so early on in life.

This is my acknowledgement of where it all begins. 


This is my acknowledgement of where it all began-never did I realize it back then- but now, here it is, and there it was. That was what set the precedence for what was to come in my life. ..

It starts with you. Are you building her up or tearing her down?

Blessed- 29 years of Life

Today is one of the most memorable birthdays that I can remember. I am so overwhelmingly humbled that God has blessed me with another year of life. I know I have grown more as a person over the last year than I have in any other part of my life. - I experienced several forms of loss and looking back, I now have compassion and understand as to why this breaks a person's spirit and understand their agony; it is deep and time does help heal the pain. - I have learned over the past year to appreciate and actually see the beauty of a persons’ soul. - I am so thankful for the several beautiful individuals that have come and (sometimes) left my life in the past year, they have opened my eyes to things I never cared to pay attention to before. They are the things that matter, the things that last. Whether it was for a glimpse of time or you still remain, I love you where you are at in your journey and thank you for the impact you have made on my heart. Ah how far I have come, and I willingly admit it- those who have know me all these years can attest to this. Life has humbled me and although it has been a trip it is what I needed to become my authentic self. Lord knows why, in particular, this last year has been such an arduous one, but either way I am eternally grateful. I will continue to work towards where he is leading me; to be the best mother and take care of this beautiful angel on earth that he has given me, love my family and friends, and to make a positive impact in this world and to those around me, no matter how small it may seem.

Grandma and Grandpa Loera-I miss you so much! Now you truly know how much you have molded me into the woman I am today. Grandma thank you for leaving me with fond memories of your love as an example of how to love others through my actions. Lord I am not worthy of the blessing that you have bestowed upon my life, yet I know you have saved me through my Faith in you always. You have your reasons for allowing me to have another day, I promise- I will not let you down. 

God is Great...

I am eternally grateful 

~Sandra Inez