Facing Your Demons Will Set Your Soul Free, Never Let go of Hope

With the recent death of Robin Williams I'm reminded of how so many people are battling their inner demons of depression, addiction, and anxiety. My heart aches for these people, I have felt their pain and it is deep. I know that my struggles may be nothing compared to some, yet unbearable to others. I have witnessed this in those near and dear to my heart, I wish that I could have made a difference in some cases and pray that I still can for some.

This is dedicated to the extraordinary individuals I have known in my life, wishing we could go back in time to give you hope to look forward to better days. You each had something so special about you, that had you seen it, I know you’d still be here with us. RIP Nathan Y. aka Nate Dogg and Andrew M. we still haven't forgotten about you... Much love, and may your souls be at peace.

For the beloved individuals in my life of whom I bear in mind as I write this; my heart is with you as you acknowledge and face your demons, with the desire for something more, something that is tangible proof that it is possible. I pray every day, that you have the strength and fortitude to look with HONESTY deep inside yourself, to set your soul free and that you become at peace in your hearts. You have no idea how much you have impacted my life; you have motivated me and taught me so many life lessons on love, forgiveness, compassion, and hope. You are all so beautiful.

We are all human and capable of great things. I am just as you are, not only have I battled these demons; I have defeated and conquered them, forgiven myself, and moved on. Facing your demons will set your soul Free. We all have them, and too many times we allow ourselves to do just temporary fixes to cover up or put them aside. We convince ourselves that by doing that, we are moving on with our lives, and capable of progression. While this might be true for certain periods of time, it does not last forever... Numerous people go their entire lives layering themselves with different band aids, never allowing themselves to truly feel the wonders of this life. Then, there comes a point when they come to the end of their journey, they realize that they are/were alone. They never experienced true happiness, true Nirvana of this life. There are others who choose to end it, because they just can’t see past the current day, their pain is so deep that they don’t realize that it is possible to conquer it and that hope is just around the corner.

Eventually there comes a point, where you will have to face the music. I realized that when we numb ourselves; whether it be with drugs, alcohol, pills, food, anything, it does not allow us to truly FEEL. We are not actually living; we are merely existing. I have discovered that being able to recognize the pain, understand where it came from, and learn how to prevent it, was vital in enabling me to conquer these demons. I’ll admit that at times it took a long time to get to a place where it no longer consumed me, it was not something that happened overnight; it was the action of constantly being aware of who I was and what my triggers were. By holding on to that hope, that tomorrow will be a better day and by acknowledging that it was only temporary, I was able to take each fall back, with Hope knowing that I will make leaps tomorrow. And guess what? I did…

I reflect on my journey and appreciate how far I've come in my own personal growth. I was able to see what my true demons were, acknowledge them, and took away the power that they had over me. It was not something that I was able to do alone; it was something that I was able to do with the strength of a higher power. It is through HIM that I have been able to continue onward. He has revealed to me along the way that he is HERE. He has sent me encouraging signs that I was on the right path. Even in those times, that I begged him not to let me feel the pain, because it was and at times still is, so very painful, he carried me. When it was all said and done, I was proud, I felt like I'd just conquered Mount Everest. 

I had a conversation with someone the other day; they asked me, “Do you think you would be doing what you're doing now, had you not experienced all those trials?” My answer was: “I don't know, probably not.” I do know this; by experiencing the lowest of lows, I am grateful every day for the simple pleasures of this life I am able to experience life and love to the fullest.

By facing the music, I was able to set my soul free, I am no longer bound by the chains of lies, addiction, and deceit. The dis-ingenuousness in my soul no longer exists. My heart feels clean, pure, and honest. By having an unpolluted soul, we are able to think and realize that no matter what comes our way, we will conquer it. I take each step back, just as a bump in the road as opposed to an earth quake. I have realized I am stronger than I ever thought possible and that, in and of itself, is so empowering!

Yet I see that so many people are afraid to face the reality, they are afraid to acknowledge that they are at war within themselves. It may be because they are afraid of what feelings it may uncover, they're afraid to feel. They are afraid of being judged. All of it boils down to FEAR. With that, you know what I have discovered is the most amazing thing about faith? When you allow your faith be bigger than your fears you will ALWAYS move forward.

It’s taking that leap of faith. It was that desire to want something sooo bad. To be rid of that toxicity in my heart, in my soul, in my life. Failure was not an option. Facing those demons set my soul free. And although it has been nearly 8 years since I faced my biggest demons, there have been other trials since. They have challenged me to be honest with myself and face reality, as much as it hurt. With each day I realized that as long as I was putting something into it, my heart and my soul, God fulfilled the rest. Please know there is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in acknowledging that we are human and at times we are weak. We need a higher power to help strengthen and restore us. HE gives us the power to conquer what is holding us back. Do not let go of hope, I promise, better days are just around the corner. I am human I am weak and I have been given new life through him, and have faith that you can too… Take that leap of faith, set your soul free, and fly!  

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, reach out to a counselor, health provider, or spiritual adviser. There is always a way.